How are you? Happy Easter to those who celebrate! If you read this, there's a chance you're done with egg hunting already and happily munching on your sweet finds. Well done you! Carry on eating as you read, I won't tell anyone. As I write this, I've eaten much of my secret chocolate stash already and am wondering if or when I can go out to get myself a treat again - just because I fancy it, not because it's considered part of my essential food necessities. You know, of course, what I'm talking about but let me tell you this: I have nothing professional to say about the current health crisis/global pandemic so, as always, this will be "merely" a personal blog post about how I'm experiencing spring in the time of Covid-19. And yes, I have been patiently waiting for an occasion to make a casual "Love in the Time of Cholera" reference, thank you very much. Seriously though, who doesn't love that book!? Anyway. Other than that, I have no intention of mentioning these or any other plagues in my writing, so rest assured, this remains a personal observation about my spring feelings.
Spring is about hope, renewal, warmth and the return of nature's bounty in all its light, bright and green glory. I love autumn, my favourite season actually, and I can appreciate the respective extremes of summer and winter, but spring is something else. Spring invariably comes with a string of expectations attached that I find impossible to entangle myself from - not that I would want to. So as soon as the weather plays its part, it's all about being... well, out and about. Exploring nature and looking for changes in it is very satisfying and helps me to accept other changes that might happen regardless.
My SPRING POWER FLOWERS collection was created in anticipation of a new season, its bold colours as well as organic shapes and textures were designed to empower their new wearers and put a spring in their steps. To go nowhere, I hear you say. Yes, as it turns out, our fresh spring attitudes and attire won't get their much longed for outings just yet. However, staying home doesn't mean we're going nowhere, at least not figuratively speaking. On the contrary, I feel like I'm getting to places where I haven't been in a while. It started innocently, with tidying unattended parts of the house and shed. Then it continued with exploring hidden depths of the wilderness that is my garden and, these past few days, with some darker corners of my mind.
Airing my head took on a meaning other than walks within the allowed 2 kilometre radius of my home. I let myself feel all the fear, anxiety, restlessness, sense of loneliness, and a certainty of gloom (if not to say impending doom) crashed over me like a wave too big to ride. During the day, the usual hustle kept me just about afloat but at night... I went under. My sleeplessness produced an interesting side effect though: I suddenly had that extra time completely to myself which allowed my thoughts to flow uninterruptedly and to process everything that's going on. To face the previously vague fears and put a finger on my anxieties, precisely where it hurt the most. Far from pleasant, it's been an eye-opener nevertheless. Where despair for the world at large grew big enough to crush me, I found unexpected peace in the wilds of my own heart. After all, I am free. To think and roam beyond curfews, borders or imposed rules.
Without "going anywhere", I went everywhere and found peace of mind. Physically, we're still "going nowhere" and that may not change for a while... but my thoughts and feelings are still free to go wherever they please. These sleepless nights have been a welcome reminder that I am more than the sum of my daily making, baking, cooking, walking or travelling. I am the actual force behind it all and even if my hands or legs were tied for whatever reason, my inner landscapes are picturesque enough to keep me going. Anywhere I want.
I have an active imagination and can use it for better as well as for worse. Instead of fearing for the worst I can dream up the best. I can not only accept the challenges that life throws at me but rise to them, learn from them and grow stronger. So that's what I'm going to do. "Going nowhere" but with a spring in my step. Getting ready for the next adventure out there and, as always, with my head in the clouds... #cloudwatching.
So yes, I do believe in better days to come and, in the meantime, I won't let myself and those depending on me down. I choose to enjoy the little things, potter about, and be creative with my resources. I still make but less and slowly. I also read a lot, cook/bake lots, listen to music, watch good movies, go outside in the sun, spend time with my family... and continue to allow myself to be inspired by it all! Who knows what the future may bring but I'm still alive and I refuse to waste my time being paralysed by irrational fear. Come to think about it, my life is not so different from what it "normally" is. I'm often on my own and, as outrageous as this might sound to some, I enjoy my own company. I'm never bored nor stuck for things to do. I find it harder to allow myself to do nothing but I'm getting better at that lately. Although I wouldn't consider daydreaming as "doing nothing" or "going nowhere", to be honest. For me, that's part of the creative process, too.
Maybe reading all this will help some of you to feel a little better yourselves. I certainly hope so. In the end, it is only a personal account of what my own thoughts are, so take away from this what you will. It could be all wrong (privileged perspective, irrelevant, bla bla...) but, hey, you can just as well learn from other people's mistakes (mine!) so you don't have to make them all yourself... Just whatever else you do or don't do, please stay safe, healthy, sane and, for now, at home! You are loved and needed more than you might know or realise.
With love and virtual hugs,